It's about what you set out to do, for God.

When you go about daily routines, life's just a river flowing in the same old direction. But I realised that when life throws you surprises, your attention and focus is diverted. The mundane flow of things change. Change comes.

I honestly dreaded the first three weeks of holidays in my spirit, but now, I'm beginning to see with my heart. I've been writing quite a bit, just not in this space. (There is a difference between blogging and journaling. A vast difference.)

Sometimes, I choose to be deliberate in doing certain acts, which finds no fault. But I want to be deliberate in setting out to do the things of God, for God. I often find myself doing things for my pleasure and personal gain. Since when have we not wanted all good things for ourselves? Although sharing and being sacrificial comes along quietly, you're ultimately setting your sights on the things of God. And at the end, I find fulfillment that does not satisfy me.

Me, myself and I, dies.

And that's okay with me. Because God becomes everything your eyes see. Your eyes are fixated on Him, leaving no room for your own desires.

I choose to be deliberate. I choose to set my eyes on the things of God. His Kingdom before my conformed world. His undying, unconditional and everlasting love above and beyond all the love I will ever have within me.

If you realised, I've been interchanging between "I" and "You". For reasons that are unclear even to myself, I just did.

If you're feeling a little short-changed in the spirit, ask yourself: "God's glory, or my glory?" No matter how upset or disheartened we are, God never works to your disadvantage. Why would He? He died for you. It's as clear as that.

If you feel that life is unfair, ask yourself: "Do I weigh life based on what I want for myself more than what God wants for me?" If you were in God's shoes, who would be treated more unfairly then?

And if you're struggling with everything rolled into one, just ask yourself: "Where am I?" You'll find out, when you begin answering yourself. Besides God, you know yourself better - Not best, just better.

Don't give up, or choose to walk away whenever something falls apart. Humans tend to resort to leaving really often, unknowingly or not. But, walking away results in greater despair and hurt, doesn't it? Because walking away, doesn't change anything. It doesn't change your circumstance or how your heart feels.

If I had chosen to turn and walk away, I would've landed myself right into the process of falling apart. No questions asked. I'm glad I didn't, because today, I celebrate small successes. It's the small victories that pave a way towards the end.

Pastor Joyce was right. It was a day of celebration and of crossing over. It wasn't easy, but where God is, anything is possible.

Sengkang One girls, you made me proud :) You really did. Every single one of you. And I know for sure that you made God proud too. Don't despair if your friends rejected the offer or didn't take the step to receive Christ, because you've already sown the seeds in their lives. They will begin to flourish and bloom in God's time yeah? Thank you for playing your part in the family of Christ :)

To Lamont and his team, Nubian Gents, thank you for blessing my life with words and songs as powerful and as beautiful as these:

Ordinary people, doing extraordinary things for God. The great thing is that we are all but ordinary.

Jesus stood up, when everyone else sat down. He went where others wouldn't go.

There is no such thing as 'no control' when God is in control. And there is no failure when you're in God.

Where would I be, if not for Your grace?
Grace that restores, redeems, releases and repairs.

Today, I celebrate :) Thank You for the little victories, God.

Choose life.